Is being delusional enough ?
In a neurotypical world, neurodivergent creatives need more than just delusion but communities who encourage their own self-determination.
How many times, have you nearly given up on a dream because you didn’t have resources, self-belief or time to invest in it ?
*raises hand multiple times*
Some people advocate being delusional as response to this.
What is being delusional ?
Disclaimer: The scope of what I am referring to doesn’t cover delusion of grandeur that is related to narcissism - I am not qualified to talk about that.
According to the Cambridge Dictionary being delusional means:
believing things that are not true
After watching the video montage above, I noticed that most of the participants were BPOC Femmes and people sharing how they were breaking away from “internalising the doubt people had in me”.
I admire the delusional practice of believing you can achieve your hearts desire.
Why ?
Builds me up psychologically
Helps me to be resilient towards rejection
Which made me realise that “true” aspect of the definition relates to how social/relational truths interact with our ability to have self-definition. By being delusional you are manifesting and taking risks - despite how an ableist, racist, sexist, queer-phobic world treats you…
Being delusional is not enough for me. If it…
Keeps me in a delusional loop - aka not doing anything just focusing on manifesting
Drives me towards work-ism “Work-ism: Is rooted in the belief that work can provide everything we have historically expected from organized religion: community, meaning, self-actualization” Atlantic
Alienates me from my needs as a neurodivergent creative in a cost of living crisis.
Doesn’t provide an inter-personal and political view towards liberation
I am Neurodivergent, in particular dyslexic but might also have others types. I found out about my dyslexia during my internships at Parliament at the age of 22.
According to British Dyslexia Association, Dyslexia is
‘Dyslexia is a specific learning difficulty which mainly affects the development of literacy and language related skills. It is likely to be present at birth and to be life-long in its effects.
It is characterised by difficulties with phonological processing, rapid naming, working memory, processing speed, and the automatic development of skills that may not match up to an individual’s other cognitive abilities.’
Not everyone’s experience of dyslexia is the same. According to my formal assessment my dyslexia weaknesses are…
Phonological processing (processing the sound structures of words).
Rate of processing visual symbols and codes
Relative weaknesses in short term and working memory
Areas of language retrieval.
Dyslexia has nothing to do with my underlying intellectual abilities - (ability to understand and reason) but more with social communication.
As a creative this can impact my ability to read sheet music, remember lyrics and plan skills for projects and communication.
On the other hand my dyslexia also gives me strengths include; narrative reasoning helps with my songwriting and innovating with my own creative taste and style.
The recommendations created for my managing my dyslexia have mainly focused on workplace adjustments for PAYE workers. I am now a freelancer and have to seek new ways of implementing care for myself.
Self-advocacy through learning
For example:
Understanding how to manage money as a neurodivergent person as I have to do my own taxes.
Applying/Asking for funding application support to help me communicate ideas.
Understanding how we can break from toxic productivity systems
Learning more about organisations such as Drake Music
Towards environments for self-determination
When I work with people I disclose my dyslexia. This can be quite hard for people due to stigma and bullying they may have experienced due to ableist practices. What has given me the confidence to disclose my dyslexia is by engaging with other Neurodivergent and Disabled people. As well as having genuine co-conspirators who care about social model of disability.
I started this blog because to reflect and highlight resources and practices that are helping me as Black Neurodivergent creative.
But I don’t want this blog to be a wikipedia.
I hope this email doesn’t just get stuck in your inbox but makes you take action for your own and your communities self-determination.
This is brilliant, really enjoying how you're mapping out your reasoning here.
Self-delusion is dangerous IMHO, but there is a more conscious, intentional way... some friends in recovery via Alcoholics Anonymous / Narcotics Anonymous introduced me to the concept of "act as if", that is act AS IF things are OK - in the case of AA/NA that you're confidently sober - even if you're not feeling they are collapsing around you. And it can apply to goals as well: act AS IF you're confidently on your way to your goals. Now this phrase has been hijacked by the new age / manifestation type people, who treat it as if it's magic - but it's not, there is some solid cognitive behavioural backing for it: https://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/2013/8/26/act-as-if
And of course AA/NA always emphasise community support as part of any process!
On the subject of self-determination there's some brilliant stuff here: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/community-health/patient-care/self-determination-theory.aspx - this article relates to improving health, though obviously that can be applied to mental states, and my friends at Noise Solution use it in their work mentoring at-risk youth through music... https://www.noisesolution.org. - it's kind of the opposite of the pyramid-selling "coaching" webinar approach that is all too ubiquitous nowadays: instead of making people you teach reliant on you, you aim to generate autonomy....